


October: Scared

by Browneyesparker



Series: October [4]
Category: Agents of SHIELD - Fandom
Genre: Autumn, Bad Dreams, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, October, Philinda - Freeform, Psycho, Team Philinda, scared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-21
Updated: 2014-10-21
Packaged: 2018-02-22 02:29:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2491115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Browneyesparker/pseuds/Browneyesparker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three times May was scared, one time Coulson wasn’t there for her and one time they were there for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	October: Scared

**Author's Note:**

> The two songs I listened to the most while writing this story was Certain Things by James Arthur and Looking To Closely by Fink. Neither song has anything to do with the story, but I am in love with them.

 

 

.

“I told you we shouldn’t have gone to the late late showing of Psycho, Mel!” Phil Coulson said as they both biked home as fast as they could, their hearts beating out of their chests. “You and your brilliant ideas!”

“I told you that you didn’t have to come with me to the late late showing of Psycho!” Melinda May retorted, drawing a sharp breath as she tried to keep up with him, but he had longer legs than her. So, it was almost impossible to keep up with him. She sighed in frustration and pedaled even faster, but her lungs felt like they were going to explode any second and it felt like he was a mile ahead of her. 

She stopped and got off her bike, tossing it aside as she sat down on somebody’s lawn and buried her face in her knees. But her heartbeat wouldn’t regulate, no matter how many times she breathed in and out. And she was irrationally scared that Norman Bates would show up out of nowhere and grab her to take her to Bates Motel so he could murder her. 

She hugged her knees to her chest and closed her eyes, hoping that Coulson would notice she was missing and come back for her as the fear gripped her chest even more. 

“Mel?” 

And then her salvation came in her best friend’s voice. 

“Mel, what on earth are you doing just sitting here?” 

“I couldn’t pedal anymore,” May told him. “I’m cold and tired and scared. Why did you let me go to a scary movie anyways? You know better than I do because you’re six months older.”

Coulson got off his bike and sat down next to her. “I guess. But if I had refused to sneak out and go to the movies with you then you would have just found somebody else to go with. Somebody who probably doesn’t understand you like I do. Somebody who would have probably left you sitting on the side of the road scared and all alone. I just couldn’t be that person. Come on, let’s get back to the academy before somebody notices we’re missing.”

He helped her up and they walked back to the academy together while he distracted her from her fear of Norman Bates. 

An hour later, she snuck into his dorm room and asked if she could sleep with him. Whenever she closed her eyes, she could only see the shower scene from the movie. Half-asleep, Coulson turned down his covers and scooted over, telling her that she had to be out when the sun started to rise so nobody would catch them. May agreed to do it and curled up beside him, the scary images dancing in her brain were chased away when he put his arms around her protectively. 

It was impossible to be scared when her best friend was around to hold her and ward off all the nightmares that were blooming in the crevices of her mind. 

.

May tossed and turned after Bahrain happened. All she could see were images that were worse than the ones from Psycho or any other horror movie she had dragged Coulson to and been scared of afterwards. She put her pillow over her face and counted backwards from sixty, then did it again. But it didn’t help. What she had did, what she had seen stayed with her in vivid Technicolor.

Somewhere across the street, a car alarm went off and she almost jumped out of bed and ran to Coulson’s room like she had when she was a little girl. But she didn’t. She couldn’t. She was a young woman now; she couldn’t jump into bed with her best friend just because something had gone bump in the night. They were older now, people would talk about them and there were rules and regulations that needed to be followed as SHIELD agents. 

Her door creaked open and May had to stop herself from burrowing under the covers and cowering in fear. 

You’re really too old to be scared, she told herself, get a grip Mel!

“Mel?” 

She opened her eyes and almost sighed in relief when she saw Coulson standing in the threshold, dressed in his pajamas and holding two bottles of Budweiser. 

“I thought you could use a little company,” he said. “Just like when we were younger. Don’t try and send me away, I know everything about you Mel. I’m not going to leave you alone, not for as long as you need me. I’ll be here to chase the bad dreams away tonight.”

“We could get into so much trouble if we’re caught. . .”

“We’re not going to get caught though,” Coulson told her as he sat down on her bed and put his hand over her’s. “Don’t worry about it Mel. Everything is going to be okay.”

With him beside her, she could almost believe him. With her beside him, at least she forgot to be scared.

.

“I’m scared,” May whispered to Coulson. “What if I’m not making the right choice?”

“You are,” Coulson answered. “Ending things will be for the best, you know you haven’t been happy since you married him. Don’t be scared anymore, you’re making the right choice. Okay? If you ever doubt it, I’ll be here to chase away your fears. Just like always.”

“What if. . .”

“There will be others,” Coulson assured her, anticipating her thoughts even before she said it. “I promise. You’re not going to spend the rest of your life alone, I promise. Besides, you don’t need a man. You’re amazing all on your own. And besides, you’ll always have me. Isn’t that enough?”

“Yeah,” May said after a moment of reflection. “Yeah, it is.”

.

She sat against the door and buried her face in her hands, her chest heaved up and down, but she couldn’t draw a breath for the life of her. Coulson was gone, gone forever. And she was all alone; he had broken his promise to always be there for her. Even though it wasn’t really his fault, he hadn’t known Loki was going to kill him.

“I’m scared,” she whispered out loud even though she knew Coulson wouldn’t show up and crawl into bed with her like he used to when the nightmares were chasing her and she couldn’t sleep. “I’m so scared. . .”

She fought off the tears, thinking she was a little too old to cry, but they came anyway. She was scared and she was all alone, and there was no one to come and chase the nightmares away. This time the nightmares were very, very real.

She had finally lost him just like she had always dreamed she would.

.

“May?” Coulson whispered as he joined her in the kitchen. “What are you doing up? Are you still having nightmares?”

“No, I just couldn’t sleep. . . what about you? Are you still having nightmares?”

“No, I don’t think so.” 

They were both lying to each other; nightmares had chased them both to the kitchen. But they both felt like they were too old to admit to being scared. So, they sat together in silence while May made hot chocolate and dug out some Chips Ahoy she had been hiding from Skye and the rest of the team. 

“What was your nightmare about?” May finally asked when they were sitting next to each other with their midnight snack. 

“Tahiti,” Coulson answered. “You?”

“The usual thing,” May replied, sipping her drink. 

“Oh,” Coulson said, even though she had never told him what the usual thing was. “Do you want to sleep with me just for tonight? You can leave before the rest of the team wakes up. . . just like we used to.”

“Yeah,” May answered, swallowing hard. It had been forever since he had lay in bed beside her, his arms around her, chasing the nightmares away. “We could do that.”

This time, she reflected as they cleaned up and went to her room together, this time she’d be chasing away his nightmares too.

_End_  
.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this story and that you’ll tell me what you thought. I’m looking forward to seeing your reviews. Thanks in advance!


End file.
